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Latent Labour started, according to my Community MW, on 4 July. Now either she was overestimating the intensity of my contractions, or I'd fooled her in some way I have no way of guessing, because at 10:30pm, three hours after I had a show on Monday 21 July, I was wracked by pains "the like of which I'd never known before"!
These contractions were much more like period pains, and were all in front. Unfortunately, as my MW had feared, as soon as I went to bed, so did Twitchy... and the pains moved into my back. Monday night/Tuesday morning was unbearable for me as I could only sleep for about 30 minutes at a time, and my poor H went off to work feeling like a limp rag! Tuesday passed in a myriad 60second contractions, and I was beating on the wall and screaming for Twitchy to find a way out through my belly button not my back...
The story hots up around 3pm, when they became more regular and lasted longer. By the time we got to hospital, at 5:30 (only because my DH stalled as long as he could, as per his instructions) the dilation was 5cm... and I was still screaming with pain every time the back-to-back labour contractions kicked in. The MW coached me (coaxed is a better word, perhaps) into breathing steadily instead of screaming insanely, and so passed the few minutes. Poor James had gone home again, as I'd foolishly left the bible record of my pregnancy there after my doctor's appointment on Monday... he came in time to hear that the birthing pool was available, and so we raced down the corridor (me in a wheelchair) into that room.
They kept promising to explain how to use the Entonox, but I think I waited through a few contractions before hearing about it. Until then, I'd been hoping for Meptid, which I naively thought would get me through to the "easy" second stage... (My friend from Parentcraft had said one whiff of Entonox had left her vomitting for five hours, but the Meptid was like being pleasantly drunk!) I'm not sure at what stage I first used it, but after 12 drags on the pipe, nothing (not even the Contractions From Hell) mattered any longer. From then on, my DH says, I did a creditable impression of a "space cadet"! There are some lovely photos of me at this stage, pouch of Capri-sun in one hand, pipe of peace in the other, and lazy grin on my face (completely naked in the water - irritating DH)! The only times the Entonox didn't work were when I'd got so high from taking it that I'd forgotten how it worked & become out of synch, or when I'd got so high from taking it that I'd forgotten to keep going - so I worked out a system of breathing (once on the pipe, once through my nose) through the contractions - kept me high, kept me focussed, and took me through the most intense pains. Back labour, remember?
There were still times when, Entonox notwithstanding, I dropped the pipe on the floor, arched my back, yelled "God, why does it hurt so much?" and flipped over all around the pool (couldn't do that on a dry bed!) and there are plenty of great quotes from the evening's entertainment. Every time I flipped onto my back, I remembered why I was labouring on all fours (sore wrists and knees, but again, they would have been far worse on land) and flipped back again - soaking H and MW during both exercises!
At 5:30, the MW had said that I'd dilate about 1cm for every hour that passed, and by 10pm, I was switching between panting, insulting them, and gazing at the clock. For most of the last hour, I'd been yelling that I wanted to push, but I was able to control the urge to do it; I knew it wasn't time yet. The MW explained that with spine-to-spine labours, the wrong part of baby's head was faced forward & so part of it was pressed onto the "Push Now Nerves". At 10:20, anyway, I was able to say I wanted to be examined... but I was insistant that I wanted the gas there because of the back pains, so at that point Twitchy was still wrong-way-round. I was so out of it, that I had to have the MW repeat that I was 10cm dilated and could push next time I had the urge - and then had to have DH repeat her message so I could be sure!
At 11, my contractions were finally coming from the front (baby had turned) but had slackened. The MW had a feel, and said that Twitchy was looking the wrong way, and that the forewaters were still intact. At that point, she was telling me/us that if there was no significant progression, she'd have to get a doctor for "the next step", but she'd break my waters first, see if that would get me going. There were only about 3 contractions between then and 11:30, and she started countdown for Stage 2 after then (so around 11:45 or midnight, sorry, I don't know). She examined me at around midnight - marvellous progression: Twitchy's head was pointing the right way, and had come down some more, and the contractions were coming much more frequently - and was nothing but encouragement.
From this point I became a little "fractious", I'm afraid. "What's the point of pushing if I couldn't see Baby?... Where's the use in pushing for just more pain?... I want to go to sleep, I'm too tired to push, I'm not strong enough to push, I want Meptid, I want a C-section, I want out of the pool, I want to go home..." About 12:45am on 23 July, the others could see the head - I couldn't see *anything* good in this, and I was still denying my DH's contributions that I wanted to stay intervention-free. I'd already thrown the mirror out of the pool, as I couldn't find it at all helpful to push and push and still see nothing. They were trying to encourage me with assertations that another "three good pushes" would do it, whereupon I became rational and sober and swore at them after the next few series of pushes, telling them I'd pushed three times, so where was Twitchy??? At that point, they started watching their 'false promises' and wouldn't state anything categorically!
Finally, at around 1am, the small pressure of a melon between my legs was starting to build into a football instead, and they turned me over at that point (from all fours onto my back) because I had a nasty tendency to straighten my legs while pushing, which could have given baby its first shock of air before dragging it down again... Carefully turned, I had the last few pushes (I seriously don't remember anything between this and the miracle a few moments later) and the head emerged at 1:07am. Not only the head, but a lovely body attached to it - straight out, no need to delay or assist that part. She was a bit wobbly, and had the cord wrapped around her neck, but the MW was very cool and collected, and unwrapped her without difficulty.
She clamped and cut the cord, which was something I hoped to avoid, but she said afterwards that it had stopped pulsating already. Also, she said she'd had three phys. third stages, and they'd all had complications - having said which, she didn't inject me as the uterus had already shut down, so I was arguably her fourth physiological third stage, and the only placental complication was that it didn't want to come unattached - the injection wouldn't have helped at all. So I sat on the bed (while back on the gas, and telling her to relax her own bloody legs, I was in pain and wanted to hold the baby!) and she got the placenta out eventually.
We have the most beautiful baby Beth - she is so placid and calm that she slept the night through (ok, from 4am-10am) despite the four squallers on the delivery ward, and has just slept most of her second night through! She's beautiful, and intelligent (although that pretty much only shows with her very interested stare, but you can call me biased!) and still very placid. Oh, and she takes after us both - you can tell she's so calm because crying's too much effort!
Short Version This is the version for people who don't have all day to sit at their monitors reading... Salient facts: Latent Labour (up till 5cms): either 18 days or 19 hours First stage (5cm-10cm): 5 hours exactly Second stage: about 70 minutes Third stage: 30 minutes, but I didn't deliver it, it eventually came when she pulled (although I was pushing too) Birth plan - followed almost exactly, as ideal as it could have been, despite a back to back labour, Twitchy's head facing the wrong way at the start of second stage, and a reluctant placenta. I managed the whole thing in the birthing pool, on gas-and-air. Birth weight: 9lbs, 9oz. No stitches, one small tear (not even bleeding)!!! Oh, and my pulse was 4 points over the limit for a water-birth when I got in, but the MW thought it would go down as soon as I was emerged, so she put me down for "pain relief only" (wink wink, nudge nudge)! Turned out she was right, and although they monitored me constantly, I didn't have to labour on dry land at all, except for the third stage. Twitchy was, as always, a happy healthy calm baby, whose heart-beat didn't change from 5pm until after birth!
Good quotes: Me: "Get out, I want a new Birth Partner!"
Me: "Flipping Heck - why does it hurt so much?" / MW: "Gabrielle - such language, I'm ashamed of you - how can you swear during labour?"
MW: "It's lovely to hear someone so refined on Labour Ward - I haven't heard her swear properly once!"
Me (a dozen times): "James, if you take one more picture of me on gas I'm going to throw that camera into the water!!!!!!!!!!!" / DH (a dozen times: "Yes, OK, no more photos..."
MW: "Gaby, I'm proud of you - you're doing so well, you've got so far..." / Me: "Go and tell someone who cares!" / DH: "No, really, you're doing great and you don't need Meptid or you'd have to get out the pool..." / Me: "Go nut yourself, you're supposed to be on my side!"
MW: "The head isn't supposed to come out like a bullet from a gun. The human body is built to do this, but you've got to give yourself a chance to do it gradually. Every time you push, you're getting Twitchy out, but you're doing it at the best speed you can, to save your body from as much stress as possible. You're doing brilliantly..." / Me: "I want this baby out NOW!"
MW: "You've come all this way on Entonox and water birth, you're about to push the head out, you don't *really* want to have a C-section and waste all your hard work, do you?" / Me: "YES, I'VE JUST TOLD YOU SO!"
Beth is the most beautiful gorgeous little girl, and even the worst labour is worth it (so take heart, anyone who's getting nervous of the pain!)